The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
