haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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