so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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