Welp...herpes.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
