The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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