I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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