Its about making memories worth repressing
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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