talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
