How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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