yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
