Ambien. No doubt about it.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
