I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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