I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
