Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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