Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
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Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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