Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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