I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize