She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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