fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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