covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm really busy with my period
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