Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
