Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
