I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize