After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
