so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
