Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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