i need an iv and a liver transplant
It's Friday. Sex?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
