You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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