just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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