You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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