That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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