I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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