Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
