Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
