do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
