I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
