There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My breasts were aching with rage.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
