I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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