why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
