were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
