Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
