i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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