at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
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I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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