I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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