you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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