Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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