it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
