Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
