So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
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