Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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