remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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