ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
