totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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