Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
