After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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