Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
