Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
