so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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