Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
