just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
