I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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