He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
