Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
